WORKING OUT LIFE

I have a theory: women are trying to work out life. And we do it differently than men. I’m not really sure how men do it, but I’ll tell you my observation -  we do it by talking about the same thing over and over. And I mean for years. Relationships, weight, appearance, the key to happiness,  child rearing, family goals, getting older, career satisfaction, where to live, where to retire. Life is about figuring out the puzzle. Piecing it all together. It starts with uncertainty. It  continues with the search for self-identity. If we know who we truly are, our likes and dislikes, and could be fully confident in our choices, we wouldn’t have these circular, repetitive conversations. And where does that uncertainty come from? Emotions and perceptions are at play. Often, deep emotions that we don’t understand, or know from where they originate. But as I often say, we are complex beings. And we need to figure out who we are, what we want, separate our identity from the identity our parents  imagined - or developed - or expected for us, and stave off societal construction and dictation of what’s acceptable or not - that’s a lot to contend with; a lot to unravel.
I’ve come to this: how many of us figure out life before we die? Sounds dramatic, maybe even dark. But maybe this is the key to life; the dance of life - most of us, or many of us, don’t figure it out - and few of us that do are those who have found true contentment - or know themselves, either in simplicity or profoundness. We are all works in progress - and some of us never stop growing, or reaching for growth. Some folks know themselves well, or may have figured it out, or don’t need much.  Maybe there aren’t always answers, and yet life often feels like a predicament. I have travelled near and far - sat with friends over the years, had conversations with people I’ve only met once, walking with folks from all over the world for a couple of weeks at a time where conversations go deep quickly - and the theme remains: Relationships, weight, appearance, the key to happiness,  child rearing, family goals, getting older, career satisfaction, where to live, where to retire. Maybe I’m the constant force of uncertainty that brings out these conversations. Or maybe, these are the questions of life. 
These thoughts stemmed from a recent philosophical state where I questioned if we ever  figure out life before we die: finding out who we are, and growing into the person we want to be. It’s  both frustrating and incredibly rewarding. For me, this means getting clarity on who I am, and striving towards fulfillment and self-actualization. But the path isn’t clean. And it’s certainly not always clear. Because life is a tradeoff: Don’t we always have to give up something to gain something? With all of its angst, not having all the answers means there is more ahead. Might it be boring otherwise?

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