None of us like to talk about difficult feelings or face challenging parts of ourselves before we are ready; before we choose. So what happens when you are confronted with doing that? That’s often the fear of being in therapy. Most folks want to control their own emotions. That’s normal! Being in therapy presents a level of vulnerability that we can’t control, unless of course we use our defenses to ward off the pain that may surface. Generally, we are conditioned to wanting to be able to know the outcome of our actions. That’s why so many of us fear taking risks or starting something new. We can have a sense of the outcome of the change being made, but we don’t always know for sure. That’s why making change can be quite scary. And being in therapy means that change is coming.
We get really comfortable with our discomfort. Because discomfort is familiar, it’s comfortable. Again, we know what to expect. So, being in therapy takes vulnerability, and risk. We can’t predict the outcome. What we can expect is change for the better. But first we have to be willing to come out of our comfort zones. We protect ourselves from that, understandably. It’s cozy there! No matter what, you will go at your own pace, because whether you know it or not, your defenses will protect you. This is why change is slow, and it won’t happen until you are truly ready. So many of us want to change things we don’t like. But it takes work. And if it took you your lifetime to be who you are, it’s going to take some time to make shifts. So be patient. And be kind to yourself. Put in the work, it will be worth it. But remember this: We can’t get past our feelings, discomfort, and pain unless we push through them. And you deserve to live your best life.
To hear more tune in to my podcast "What Would Dr. Meyers Do": Episode 12 (release date: 1/10/23)