FUNDAMENTALS OF SIBLING ABUSE ASSESSMENT

4/11/2023

Although sibling rivalry and sibling abuse are terms often used interchangeably, they are distinct experiences. Sibling abuse is characterized by behavior that poses danger – both explicit and implicit – to one child: physically, emotionally, or both. The ramifications on the victim of an enduring aggressive and assaultive sibling relationship have both short-term and long-term repercussions.
Clinicians need to be mindful of the developmental and emotional influence of the sibling relationship, and as such, the nature and quality of this relationship should be assessed to the same extent of parent-child relationships.
There are environmental factors outside of the family that may increase the likelihood of sibling on sibling aggression such as substance abuse, peer bullying, and low self-esteem. However, sibling abuse tends to develop from certain family conditions that create resentment and hostility between children. Most parents are upset to learn that sibling abuse occurs under their roof; they may be unable to manage the behavior; or they may feel helpless to address it. Additionally, parents may report that their child is also abusing them.
Assessment of the presence of sibling abuse can begin with the following:
Is there abusive behavior between the parent(s) and child(ren)?
Sibling abuse is more likely to occur when parent-child abuse is present. However, sibling abuse exists in all homes, even where there is no evidence of child abuse or domestic violence. It occurs across irrespective of race, culture, religion, geographic location, and socioeconomic status.

Do the parents argue with each other and their children in a “healthy” manner?
Children learn how to manage conflict by observing disagreements and conflict between parents and through the interactions parents have with each child. Learn how discipline and conflict are handled in the family system. Is a range of emotions from the children acceptable? Are the parents able to manage and tolerate challenging behavior and intensity of emotion?

Pay attention to the child’s peer relationships.
Children who have challenging peer relationships are apt to bring this behavior into the home – as either a perpetrator or victim of sibling abuse. A child bullied at school may displace his/her anger onto a sibling. If the child is the target of peer bullying he may be prone to victimization in the home.

Take a child’s complaints and expressions of distress seriously.
If a child is complaining about a sibling’s behavior towards him/her, monitor the relationship. If the child is scared of being alone with his/her sibling or finds reasons to stall coming home from school, ask if he/she feels safe at home. Often, children abused by a sibling will seek refuge at a friend’s house or get involved in after-school activities as a way to avoid being home until parents arrive from work.

Do children have adult responsibilities in the home?
Children should not be in the position of caregiver. Sometimes parents are overwhelmed and need help with tasks. That is ok! However, children should not serve as a substitute spouse. Children, especially from single-parent homes, tend to be burdened with the care giving of younger siblings. This breeds resentment. While children may seek positive reinforcement – and are praised – for being a “mother’s helper”, they have the ability to grow up resentful of taking on that role. Again, displaced anger onto a sibling is apt to occur.

Is favoritism evident in the household?
Granted, each child cannot be treated the same all the time. However, it is important for caregivers to recognize the strengths of each child. Favoritism can create hostile sibling relationships. Whether the perpetrator of abuse or the victimized child is favored, both dynamics warrant potential sibling aggression. When a child experiences his/her sibling as favored, he/she may react by mistreating the sibling. When a child is favored, the sense of entitlement may create a dynamic in which roles are blurred and boundaries are crossed; often time this is represented through the child who takes it upon him or herself to “discipline” the sibling (in favor of a parent’s praise or modeling the parent’s behavior).

Children who are victims of sibling abuse may present with anxiety, depression, or academic difficulties. Interventions must target not only the presenting problem, but the source of the problem. Assessment of parent-child and child-child relationships is critical. Understanding family dynamics is imperative to helping parents identify behaviors that may promote or perpetuate hostile sibling relations.

Adults with a history of sibling abuse often present to treatment with challenging interpersonal relationships and may be unaware of their history as abusive due to the lack of recognition sibling abuse has received as a legitimate experience. Therefore the clinician who explores current and early sibling relationships has the potential to uncover the dynamics which contribute to the client’s challenges and help the client make these connections.

Practitioners who provide counseling services and psychotherapy to children and families have the potential to transform dysfunctional familial patterns of communication and help parents develop better parenting practices. The structural model of family therapy focuses on helping parents to develop and maintain appropriate boundaries within the family system and between siblings. Building on individual and family strengths promotes protective factors and establishing family and environmental supports promotes resilience, ensuring that children are kept safe from all types of harm within the family system.

To learn more about how to assess for sibling abuse, check out podcast episode #25 titled "Sibling Abuse Assessment".

10 Comments

jane mccabe

4/30/2023 07:59:21 pm

After listening to this episode as well as learning about it in class, I found this blog post spark my interest. This topic is not something that is widely talked about but it should be. This blog post made me think about clients who might not have known that what they went through with their sibling could be classified as sibling abuse. They might just have thought it was normal, or it was just how their sibling acted with no explanation. I think that as clinicians we have to be aware and knowledgeable about all types of abuse and what the signs are for each one. I can apply this information to myself by continuing to gain knowledge about this topic. With the work that I want to be doing in the future, I will be working with so many demographics with so many different backgrounds, It is vital that I keep my mind open and aware to knowledge that can only help me in my future practice.

Amy Meyers

5/1/2023 11:19:16 am

Yes, Jane. It's so important that as social workers, we know the questions to ask to uncover this abusive experience. Episode 25 outlines those questions in detail. Hope it's helpful!

Samantha Barcia

2/20/2024 04:41:52 pm

After reading this blog I agree with how the family environment can affect a child. I think it is normal for siblings to bicker here and there but it shouldn’t cause childhood trauma. I often feel trauma is created based on the negative or toxic background between the parents could be caused within the family household. While reading the article, Adverse Childhood Experiences and Social Work: Relationship-based Practice Responses one thing that stood out to me was how it mentions the ACEs model that looks at adverse childhood and how it causes later life outcomes. (Fredrick, PG 3020) This stood out to me because it is a practice to help clinicians establish an understanding of family dynamics and the effect it has had on their clients. I feel sibling abuse is something that is not widely talked about because the average person probably has no idea what sibling abuse even is. This is because siblings may experience things that may be deemed as “normal” when in reality it is not. After reading the blog I would say that parents often play a role in why siblings can be abusive. Often parents rely on older siblings to play a parental role. This can cause the older siblings to have too much authority over the younger siblings and can be very abusive towards them whether it’s verbal, physical, or both. As a social worker, it is important to ask questions and examine the behaviors and trauma that their client can be experiencing. According to the article, social workers should be able to create a sustainable relationship between the parents and the client. (PG 3022) This is essential because the parents may not realize what trauma their child has been experiencing and they may be a part of the reason why. During this time it is very hard and could be a sensitive topic for family members. I agree with the article to use a strengths-based approach by encouraging families to be able to talk in a non-judgment manner to work on their active listening skills to come up with solutions to overcome the hurt and trauma being displayed. (PG 3028)

Alyssa Trousdell

2/20/2024 07:12:51 pm

I definitely believe growing up with siblings has a big impact on our childhood as well as our development into adulthood. Many people who have a sibling encounter some form of abuse whether it's minute or something traumatic. This abuse can stem from many different factors. Prior to the blog post I didn’t take into consideration the many ways a sibling can experience abuse and how this can occur within a family. I definitely agree a major factor in this is taking a closer look into the siblings home life and asking questions. Discovering why/if this abuse is occuring, allows us to help the client determine “potential ways uncover the dynamics which contribute to the client’s challenges and help the client make these connections.”(blog post) I also agree that children who experience sibling abuse can still have anxiety and depression into adulthood, depending on how traumatic the abuse was to them. While sibling abuse can definitely stem from parental behavior and home environment, it’s also important to understand it can also come from a sibling being insecure or jealous of another sibling. It's very common for siblings to resent or be jealous of one another for many underlying factors. For example, my sisters friend has a twin and she has admitted she believed she's developed social anxiety from being a twin because she did not get as much social attention from friends or family growing up.

Amanda

2/25/2024 02:51:31 pm

I found the blog post, “Fundamentals of Sibling Abuse Assessment”, super informative and important for my current and future work with clients. This semester I have been exposed to and am currently being exposed to family dynamics and the blog post has helped me reflect on the family dynamics I have seen thus far. It reminded me of this one family with six kids and there is one kid (we’ll call him M) who is always talked bad about by his mom and the way that his siblings view him is influenced by his mom as well. For example, the siblings were in a program with other kids and M’s little sister said aloud “M smells so bad” and the other kids were laughing at him because his little sister pointed it out. In reference to the blog post, M also is getting bullied in school, has academic difficulties, and is the scapegoat in his family. According to the assessment, there is abusive behavior between parent and child, emotional and verbal present, which is mostly present between M and his mom, which also influences how his siblings treat and view him. There are also poor peer relationships observed with M because he gets bullied and does not have any friends, the only peer relationships he is around are within the agency’s program and his siblings. It would be important for the social worker who is working with this family to take these dynamics into focus because he is the scapegoat of the family, and the way his family and other kids are treating him can greatly negatively impact his psyche and developmental growth. When observing this family and their dynamics before reading the blog I was not able to process what was going on fully. After reading the blog post I was able to reflect, assess, and process the dynamics going on within this family and it offered a greater explanation on M’s behavior and how his siblings view him as well. The assessment of the presence of sibling abuse will be greatly helpful in my work with clients in understanding their family dynamics or sibling relationships throughout their life.

2/26/2024 10:04:00 am

Amanda, you provide a great ability to apply the dynamics of siblings to a greater context of family dynamics. This is so important. I wonder how this child may be showing his experience/symptoms with his peer relationships.

Adriana Sevilla

2/25/2024 09:43:41 pm

As children grow up and develop their personalities and identities it is common for a child to be a reflection of their parent or primary caregiver. This is why it is common to hear the phrase "The apple does not fall far from the tree" Children are easily influenced by those around them and continue to be far beyond their developmental stage. When discussing sibling abuse or rivalry it is important to first assess the parent or primary caregiver. Of course, it is normal to experience sibling rivalry, and normalizing this experience (if it is a healthy one) amongst children is also important as it develops key tools of development such as conflict resolution. However, after listening to Episode 25 of the sibling abuse series I now know it is important when assessing for sibling abuse or rivalry to begin examining the parent and the relationship with their parent. Doing so can lead you to determine whether or not it is normative or intergenerational in a family system. I believe as a parent it is important to be able to have a great sense of self-awareness and realize how behaviors that you may have been taught growing up are not healthy and should not be placed on the children as it can cause dysfunction and unwanted feelings between siblings. Having a sibling should be a positive and loving experience and although it may or may not be for many; tackling the root of the problem by assessing the models of parenting is important.

Leila Fatscher

2/26/2024 08:13:36 am

I appreciate the information provided in both this blog post as well as the corresponding podcast episode. This taught me some helpful assessment questions to be asking and signals to notice when it comes to sibling abuse when working with a family. Ultimately it emphasized the importance of the clients relationship with the people, places, and communities around them. We come to know a lot about the dynamic between two siblings by exploring their parents relationship with each other, their relationship with their parents, the relationships that the children have at school, with friends, with their extracurricular activities, and with each other as siblings. When we observe the behaviors exhibited in each of these relationships, it can give us insight about the abuse that may or may not be occurring between the siblings.

I am currently placed at a behavioral health non-profit doing macro social work. I am working on increasing the client's access to language services which also helps prevent instances of language brokering. Language brokering is when a child has to translate for a parent who is non fluent. This blog post made me reflect on the ways that language brokering can add stress to the sibling relationship which can lead to an increased risk of sibling abuse. The sibling who is the language broker can be seen as more favorable to the parent, or the sibling can be seen as the one who has a greater responsibility or burden to carry. This can all disrupt the normative sibling role leading to resentment, jealousy, or tension between the siblings.

The article ACEs and Social Work: Relationship-based Practice Responses, also focuses on relationships and achieving positive outcomes. This article not only discusses the importance of the relationship between the client and their environment but the relationship between the client and their social worker. As the social worker, understanding the complexities of the family and sibling relationships helps to offer appropriate support to both siblings; victim and perpetrator.

Angelina Sanchez

2/26/2024 10:04:46 pm

One of the relationships of a client that is overlooked is the one in relation to their siblings. This blog helped highlight that when we are looking at sibling dynamics its important to look at parent-child dynamics as well as the way parents argue with one another. Children often act in a way they observed their parents did. Of course, when siblings are around one another there is some competition or rivalry, however, when it is extreme it can lead a sibling to have low self-esteem, peer bullying and possible substance abuse.

I liked how Episode 25 of the podcast touched on one child being the "scapegoat" for the parent which often leads to this child building resentment and therefore the anger built up bleeds into the sibling dynamic because it is not able to be taken out on the parent. I used to worry about that for my sister who is 4 years younger than me. I would always hope that she didn't compare herself to me just because our mom tended to do so.

This blog was helpful in exploring a client's system. Personally, I think having a competitive sibling dynamic can help humble you, and help learn to compromise or come up with solutions without getting parents involved.

Drug Treatment Atlanta link

7/19/2025 08:12:33 am

Thanks for sharing this. Drug treatment in Atlanta is vital for those seeking long-term recovery options.

FUNDAMENTALS OF SIBLING ABUSE ASSESSMENT

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FUNDAMENTALS OF SIBLING ABUSE ASSESSMENT

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